little trusts

Being a consistent and trustworthy person to my dog is a top priority of mine.

I want her to have confidence that I’ve got her back, that I can sense her discomfort and will respond accordingly, that I will keep her safe.

This is important for all dogs, but especially for a nervous dog living in a world where so many things make her feel uncomfortable or unsafe.

Not only do I want to protect her from that, I want to make sure I’m not contributing to it. So I’m mindful of the little moments that build or break her trust in me.

She knows I’ll wait for her.

If we’re off on a walk and a good smell or interesting noise (or even the need to poop in privacy) leads Mango away from me I stop. I wait for her, and I don’t start walking again until she returns.

I remember the feeling of dread that came over me as a kid in the supermarket, suddenly aware that I’d lost sight of my mum.

Mango doesn’t need to feel that way.

So I wait.

I apologise sincerely.

One hand Mango is as tough as nails - just ask my shins - and yet pain gets the better of her at times, just like all of us. If I accidentally trod on a paw or the ball I’ve just thrown conks her on the nog (this is why I don’t play ball sports), I reach toward her and apologise, and ask if she’s okay. She will often look shocked and betrayed at first, but I show remorse and affection, and then her ears fold back of her head and she’ll come up for a lick and a ‘boy I wondered what happened there’ nervous energy wiggle. I’m sure she knows.

I don’t rush bathroom breaks.

Mango has enough to worry about, and I dictate enough of what goes on in her life, let alone rushing toilet time. I see folks trying to hurry their dog’s bowel movements and it just causes unnecessary stress - to their tummies and their minds.

I comfort her when she’s scared or hurt.

I do my best to prevent scary things from happening to Mango, but there’ll always be an off-lead dog, or tall, deep-voiced, quick-moving handyman, or loud metal clang, or wasp sting that will come outta nowhere and give Mango a fright. I want her to know that I can sense her fear, that I will respond, and that I will comfort her with closeness and cuddles, once it’s safe to do so. I know this comfort matters to her cos she leans in. 

I don’t demand responses.

If I ask Mango to do something - get the ball, get into ‘middle’ position, or heck, even sit - if she indicates she doesn’t want to, I don’t push it. There could be so many reasons why she doesn’t want to - pain, exhaustion, discomfort, wet grass, strange smells, an unknown dog in the distance.

I care so much more that she trusts me and knows I care about her feelings than making sure she does what I say. Unless I’ve asked something of her for safety (come, wait, leave it) I want her to know she can opt out.

There are big ways to build trust with your dog, and there are little ways too. 

I can’t know for sure if Mango appreciates these little trusts but I’m pretty she does. I do know that every time I show kindness to her, I feel a little bit of it toward myself, too.

Bonus.